Dealing With Difficult People
I love residential real estate because it is emotional. Whenever you deal with someone’s emotions, there are always highs and lows. Clients often get frustrated and stressed when they have to make decisions that will impact the rest of their lives. Expect it.
Most agents think they get paid for doing CMAs, marketing, negotiating offers and stewarding the deal to close. What they are not prepared for is the emotional hand-holding that their clients require.
Simply put, you are paid to be a FIXER.
You are paid to absorb people’s stress and make their problems go away. If you don’t have problems, you don’t have business. If you have lots of problems, you have lots of clients. Look at problems as a good thing. All of this sounds good, but I understand how difficult it can be NOT to react when someone is mean to us. After all, if someone punches us, our first reaction is to punch back. But if you lose control, you will lose clients.
True professionals can take abuse from a client, absorb their negativity, stay calm and talk their client down. True professionals don’t react – they remember their end goal. If you don’t, you may win the argument, but you’ll lose the deal. Sometimes when we feel attacked, especially when we know we’re right, we want to rigorously defend our position. But remember, RIGHTEOUS DOES NOT CASH COMMISSION CHECKS.
Let me give you some coping mechanisms to deal with difficult people.
DEAL WITH DIFFICULT SITUATIONS A.S.A.P.
I always say, “don’t run from problems, run into them”. The longer people stew about a situation, the angrier they get. As soon as you get a hint that your client is upset about something, don’t ignore it, deal with it immediately. It is easier to fix a small problem than it is to let it fester into a big problem.
HAVE A CLEAR END GOAL
What is the end game? Remind yourself what your objective is. Not just with this conversation, but more so with the overall result you want – to get the deal done. How will you need to communicate so the other person truly sees the benefits they will receive by doing what you want them to do?
MAKE NOTES BEFORE THE CALL
Write out bullet points of what you want to accomplish on the call. Once a conversation starts, it is easy for it to go in the wrong direction. We can get caught up in the emotions of the conversation and lose sight of our objectives. Before you know it, the conversation will end and you will not get the points across that you needed to. Keep your notes in front of you to stay on track.
MENTALLY ROLE PLAY THE CONVERSATION
To help prepare for what is likely to happen on the call and how you will calmly navigate through the difficult discussion, take a few minutes and mentally rehearse the call before you dial.
NEVER DISCUSS A PROBLEM WITHOUT A SOLUTION
If you know your client is upset, try not to discuss the problem unless you have a proposed solution. When I was a broker, I told my agents not to bring problems to me unless they had a suggested solution. That didn’t mean I was going to accept their solution, but at least they would have to think about a common-sense strategy instead of relying on me to fix their problem. Your clients are expecting you to fix theirs.
ALWAYS HAVE MORE THAN ONE SOLUTION
It is human nature for people, when given a choice, to make a choice. If you only offer one solution, you are not allowing clients to have a choice. It is better to have your preferred solution (and discuss all the benefits) and a secondary solution (which has fewer benefits). The client will feel in control because you’ve given them a choice, even though one is clearly better than the other.
STAY CALM
When someone attacks you, try not to get offended by their lack of sensitive communication skills. Focus on the problem, not the people. In real estate, we often have a million things coming at us every day. When we are stressed it can be easy to lose control of our emotions. Your clients are stressed, and they don’t need you to be stressed too. They are looking for a battle-tested sergeant to navigate them through a difficult situation. When the bullets are flying, they need to know you can stay calm, and think rationally.
GET THEIR COMMITMENT ON A SOLUTION
Never end a conversation without a clear plan for next steps that they agree with. You will have less resistance if your solution truly benefits your client. They must logically know, and emotionally feel, like you have their best interests at heart. If they think, even for a second, that the solution is for YOUR benefit, their frustration will grow substantially. Do everything FOR your clients, not TO your clients.
The next time you are dealing with an irate client or agent, refer to this list to ensure you have a thoughtful game plan to get the resolution you want. Don’t wing it. Get the deal done!
Chris Leader
President
Leader’s Edge Training